“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.” ― Roman Payne
The first time I created a post on lovedarbie.com, I was seventeen, unsure, naïve, and my recent graduation and college acceptance were my greatest life achievements. I recently spent hours reading the 400 posts that I have written on this little corner of the web, the majority of which are private now (trust, you didn’t want to read them). It’s a complex feeling to read your old words, a bit of nostalgia, some disappointment, some appreciation – but overwhelmingly, the reminder that every minute I live will soon be a memory.
An unfortunate case of writers block has kept me away for the past few weeks. The kind of writer’s block that makes you want to throw things, makes you actually throw things, and has you searching for inspiration as though your own thoughts and life aren’t inspiration enough. So, let’s catch up. Since the beginning of the month, I’ve breathed the air of three continents, danced to D’banj in the tallest building in the world with friends that inspire me to be the best version of myself, and started a job that I could’ve only dreamt about – working on things that will be used by millions of people. I’ve poured myself into myself, spending all my free moments doing things that will invigorate my mind. Morning and evenings commutes are accompanied by whatever I’m reading that week (recently Between the World and Me by Ta-Nahesi Coates), daily cardio has become non-negotiable, pre-bedtimes are no longer spent catching up on snap-stories but finally knocking concepts and languages off my coding to-learn list, and keeping an organized home has directly correlated to keeping an organized mind. Gone is the constant state of feeling like my life is in shambles that I experienced all throughout college.
The highlights of my month have made it unforgettable and thankfully there haven’t been many lowlights except the slight feeling of disconnection from the world. As someone used to keeping a pretty active social calendar and living with people, it’s been unusual to come home at the end of the day to… myself. Being new in a city, I found myself initially being hyper-enthusiastic about meeting people and building my social circle until I realized it’s a process that I shouldn’t try to rush. I’ve been so intentional about only allowing positive energy in my space and that is largely reflective of who I let in that space.
“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” ― Paulo Coelho
Last week, I had dinner with a fascinating woman wiser than I and she mentioned something that resonated. That when it comes to life, always have your north star, but don’t focus on needing to get straight to the star, move a little bit east and a little bit west, as long as you’re going towards that north star. Now, more than ever, I know what I want out of life, my north star is becoming a little bit more visible. While I was in Dubai talking about all things life and creativity in the wee hours of the morning with my friends Moyo & Nneji, we talked a lot about focus and how it’s literally the secret sauce in achieving anything or creating great work. I’m talking beyond focusing as opposed to multitasking, but putting your entire life and goals in focus. For me and the three billion things I’m interested in, as tough as it may be, these next few months and years will be hinging on my ability to realize what is most important to me and having that focus.
“Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” ― George Lucas
Here’s to a great rest of the month for everyone, bless.