Why I Stopped Explaining Myself


This post could also be titled, “Why I’m Going to San Francisco Tomorrow and Why People May Not Understand It“.

In 2014, I started this thing where I did whatever I wanted to do. As rebellious as it may sound, none of my actions were. I guess you could say I followed my heart, but it’s not that deep… for the most part I simply followed my mind and my gut. If the thought of an adventure, venture, or choice kept me up for more than two nights and I had the means and time, I went for it. I soon realized that people wouldn’t always understand my decision making process.

So, what are you going to San Francisco for again?

I’ve heard this question many times over the past week. Given, it was a spur of the moment trip, but it was really my explanation that threw people off.

So you’re just going… to have lunch with people?


I am a huge believer in the power of networking. So one night while I was up sending emails, I realized I could either spend a week of my winter break sitting at home really not doing much of anything, or I could be meeting with the people I’m sending emails to. The choice was simple, the latter would be a better use of my break. So, I had the time… how about the means? If there’s a will, there’s always a way and God came through. Less than 24 hours after I had randomly decided I wanted to make this trip, I had a free roundtrip ticket from AUS to SFO in my possession. Okay, that’s handled. But how about accommodation? I texted a friend that I was coming, just to make sure they would have time to meet up and their response was, “by the way, you’re staying with me”. So here I am, about to make a trip that is setting me back $0, leaving my budget for the trip solely for Uber and food.

I’ve made a couple big decisions recently that might warrant curiosity. Explaining myself grew tiresome and at times, led me to doubt myself. As long my actions make sense to me and God, I’m fine with it. If 2014 was the year of doing my own thing, 2015 is the year of doing so unapologetically.

I posted this quote by Neil Gaiman on Facebook as we entered the new year, and I’m keeping it with me as I navigate the course of this year:

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”